The Little Zero With No Spam
by bobthespameatinggundam
Summary: the story of a brave SD wing Zero who has no spam
1. Default Chapter

            The little Zero with no spam

I don't own gundam wing it's owned by sunrise and spam is owned by Hormel foods, SO DON"T SUE ME!!!! Please give me feed back

This was my first fic so don't be harsh my comp doesn't have spell check sorry!

"Chapter one"     that's what it's called got a problem with that!

there once was a chibi wing zero who loved spam (don't ask how he ate it) and so every day he'd have the spam sales men with those nice bowls on there heads and there purple pants THAT TALKED with there penguin companion's that carried the spam for them. Then one day the sales men didn't come zero was quite upset because he had to eat Manwich or canned ham (which in fact is not spam). Days then weeks then months went by with no spam so our chibi little hero chose to set out to find the missing spam**. **

We find chibi zero walking along the rode to spamaroko were the spam is made. after a long time of walking zero sits down on a rock off the rode witch is good because a large parade of penguins with shiny hats waddled by (as everyone knows a penguin with a hat is very dangerous the more shiny the hat is the more dangerous the penguin is) and then he realized that HE COULD FLY so he took off but five minuets later he ran out of gas and fell on his ass. This didn't stop zero though.

**Later that day**

He walked and walked and walked then he stopped for a rest. When all of the sudden a traveling show of tap dancing midgets comes normally zero would ignore them but they always had tons of spam so he ran to them and yelled 

"I'D LIKE TO HAVE YOU'RE SPAM!" and they said

"No."

"Why?"

"We don't have any would you like to see us tap dance?" by that time zero was running away.

See you next time in chapter two "holy crap the TRANSFORMERS"


	2. HOLY CRAP TRANSFORMERS!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Transformers, or spam or phasers from star trek and I'm not trying to offend midgets.

We last saw our hero running away from the tap-dancing midgets. Soon he stopped at a quarry and realized, *gasp* could it be that he was a complete idiot with no spam or gasp that was lost in the middle of no where with a string and Hamtaro! Which was driving him nuts cause the hamster kept yelling Chikah chikah! And Kush kush! So he ate Hamtaro. (A/N: I hate hamtaro! Put him in a microwave!) Then Dr. Jay appeared using a port key he stole from Harry Potter, and stole Zero's beam sword, 

"HAHAHA! NANANAH! Oof!" He yelled as he slipped on the oil from his robotic arm, his own arm for god's sake! He builds a Gundam, but he can't fix an oil leak! What a friggin' dumb ass! He slips into the quarry onto the pointy rocks ands we hear many muffled screams and squishy noises! Zero exclaims, 

"Smishey paste!!" Then Zero puts fists up to his face covering his mouth with wide eyes and yells, "I didn't rape the donkey!!" For no reason what so ever except to scare the frigging' shit out of you readers. The readers are either to disturbed to answer or they've soiled themselves! 

"Clean yourselves up you smelly people!" the author yells to the readers in a crappy French accent. Then the author's sister bitch slaps him. Before anything else can happen, Optimus Prime and all the transformers unite and attack our disturbed little Gundam friend with no spam. All of which were beating him with wiphel ball bats while some used toy phasers from Star Trek. The phasers did nothing, and the wiphel ball bats made Zero think he was a mole from whack-a-mole. He jumped up and down and side to side while they tried to hit him. Meanwhile creepy music played in the background, which turned out to be the author and his bitchy sister playing cheese flutes. Everyone knows a cheese flute is a flute made of cheese! Only a dumbass would think of that! *points to sister*

Well if anyone actually read this. Review it please! 


	3. the final Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic. 

A/N: dose anyone read this? Who knows just please R&R!!!!!!

Where was I oh yes. Our chibi little hero had escaped the peril of the transformers and was walking happily along, when he came across talking pants. The talking pants were talking to miniature pants. Everyone knows that pants can only talk to miniature pants and that shirts can't talk. Shirts are inanimate objects!!!!! They were floating on a giant top hat and they were fighting with giant q-tips.

Zero yelled to them,      

"Hey did you wank my uncle on the 63rd of poop?"  The pants just look at him…………….     

"Do you respect the prophecies of the cheese lord!? Or do you look for the cat with the leprechaun hat named, Eeny meeny my nee mo catch a tiger by the toe, but we just call him bob." Zero looks confuzerated, 

"uh…………….no……………" Then Zero craps himself. The pants walk around and beat Zero with giant q-tips ……………………… Then shining Gundam appears,

            "You little bitch!!!!!!!  G Gundam forever!!!!"   

"You're an idiot……….I think I should shove a bunch of Trowa dolls that are in their clown suites in your cock pit!!!!!!! Then shove loofas up yo' ass bi-atch!!!!!!!!" Zero does the snap finger thing

            "Don't go there girlfriend!!! I have no ass!" Shiny yells. Then he gets mad at the author because he changed Shining to Shiny.

            "YOU MOFO!!!!!!!" Shiny yells. Then in a turn of event both Gundams are at Spamoroko. Is it magic mold that grows in their pants? Or maybe the author is just really fuckin' lazy. Then at the gates to spamoroko they see,………………….P-P-PAULY THE PARAPLEGIC PARROT WITH NO WINGS AND AN OVER ACTIVE BLADDER!!!!!! Oh yeah and he's nailed to a pole. He's pretty useless…………

            "Squawk!!!!!! Have you seen my toilet of doom that blow dries your ass and gives you a manicure?" asked Pauly the paraplegic parrot with no wings and an over active bladder. The two stared blankly like this, 0_0 . Then zero remembered why he came here, to seek the Holy Grail!!! Then Shiny smacks him upside the head and says,

            "You came for spam!!!!!! Now let's go before I have nightmares, baby!! *wink wink*" Zero wonders how Shiny knew about spam and the Holy Grail, when he didn't say a thing. Well he did fart, but it was silent and deadly.

            "OH DEAR LORD IT REAKS!!!!!!!!!!"  Shiny yelled. Then Zero kills Pauly  the paraplegic parrot with no wings and an over active bladder. 

"Why did you do that?" asked shiny

"he scared me" said Zero "lets go to Spamoroko!" and so are heroes march onward to Spamoroko. They come to the castle witch I'm to lazy to describe. Zero knocks on the door.

"HELLO! IS ANYONE THERE!?"  the door opens. 

"I'm scared!" said shiny 

"It's ok ………………HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!"

"*jumps* WHAT?!?!" screamed shiny.

"PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" exclaimed Zero.

"Were fucked." stated shiny. Then Zero uses his twin buster rifle to kill them all.

 "ok………that's cheaper than shining finger" Said shiny. All of the sudden Brian Denehey came into the room.

"Now were really fucked" said Shiny 

"No were not lets use are really cheap attacks!" exclaimed Zero so Zero shoots his twin buster rifle and shiny uses the shining finger and Brian Denehey dies, and zero gets his spam back and shiny died because his appendix blew 

the end 

damn that sucked


End file.
